I agree with all this, although I think the hate for Rose might be rooted as much in what happened after she left, both on the show and in fandom, as in her actual character. Doesn't mean it's not unpleasant to read, of course, because it's really hard to separate the issues.

Concerning some earlier comments (and I don't recall if or what you replied to that, so this is just in general), I don't think it's helpful to say that the double standards tend to come from the younger segments of fandom, though. It's true that most of us have changed from when we were teenagers, and I'm guilty of the occasional ageism myself, but there is simply too much misogyny coming from fans who are in their thirties, forties, and older, to think that it's "just" or even primarily the younger fans.