I think that when it comes to female characters, we -- female fans, that is -- tend not to like them because it is so easy to see ourselves in their moments of weakness. I think that's a part of it, anyway -- it's so easy to see the ugly parts of ourselves reflected back at us in the behavior of female characters...and truly, who wants to know the ugly parts of themselves?

I also think that it is the natural behavior of fans to excuse the bad behavior of their favorite characters. Tony's not my favoritest favorite, but he's pretty high on my list...and hence, I don't find his behavior as annoying as when I first started watching NCIS. (Though I'm going to agree with those up-thread and say that I find my personal head!Tony to be more satisfactory than what I get on the television.)